never kill yourself bc one day you could be alone in the house after smoking a blunt and be super high watching midwest safety and eating pizza rolls

ITS MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!! IM 23!!!!!!

so i work at donatos (pizza chain that originated in Ohio, but they’re all over the us now) and we get SLAMMED during holidays because, of course we do. we’re relatively busy during the dinner rush (5-6) and i finish making a salad and go to put it in the little fridge we have up front that holds our 20 oz and 2 liter pops. my coworker and gm are helping customers up front, and i hear some dude who’s EASILY pushing 60 yell “DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHY I WOULD BE FRUSTRATED?!?!??” and i immediately think “well, he’s clearly in the wrong here” and walk back to my station. my gm breaks it down later, because this dude yells for 15 minutes before finally taking his order and leaving; this guy was threatening to SUE US, because the total in-store was $3 more than the total in our app. dude pushing 60. yelling at a woman who is at least 34 years younger than him because of $3!!!!! so obviously i text all this to the gc i have with my sister and my parents and i got a great response back:

the title is a joke but i just spent the last three minutes texting my best friend about how scat porn death fetish by butchers harem is maybe my favorite current song because of the phrase “i crack a fat for gore”. and then i proceeded to tell xem that i also LOVE open you up, snuff porn holocaust, and blood fetish (as well as your my stump and eat my rotten meat, i ❤️ you mc mangina) and then told xem about the different mcs in butchers harem and i could practically HEAR the agonized sigh they let out all the way in texas. my personal opinion because i’m a newer fan, i think mc mangina and mc cumblood are neck and neck for 1. best stage name and 2. favorite flow

tom fulp please accept my friend request 😭

going to work before pain meds kick in on my period should get me a Purple Heart or something